You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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