I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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