Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
