She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
