So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
