Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
