My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm gonna fight the coyote
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
