Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
