Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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