dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
