she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
