It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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