Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
