Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
