She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
