try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
