Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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