wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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