So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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