Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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