If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he was CRYING into my vagina
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
