Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
