Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
