i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
