home. puking in laundry basket.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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