I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ugly people sure do ruin things
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
