If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
