Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
