That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
True strength comes from lack of pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
