check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
