My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this boner is exhausting
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
