with your own penis?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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