I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
