how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
