I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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