So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
they need to just BURY HIM!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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