I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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