Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
