i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize