We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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