my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
