oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
