is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This baby is an asshole
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is Oprah even human
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
