I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
