Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
