once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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