is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
