you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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