I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
