Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
