As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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