did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
