I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
