I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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