a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
