I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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