If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
