Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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