Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
