I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
