he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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