from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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